A Gay Essay
by Connito ThunderHikari
Summary: After getting in trouble, Kenny McCormick and Clyde Donovan are assigned an essay to write for Mr. Garrison. As they work on it together, sparks fly... Kenny x Clyde
1. Chapter 1

**Okay guys. This is my first ever ff. I have always loved South Park and am a big fan of the Kenny x Clyde pairing. So, I decided to write about it. The story is from our favorite blonde pervert's perspective. :) The first chapter is done and uploaded. Review plz? I would really appreciate the criticism. And I do not own SP or any of the characters or whatever youre supposed to say xD Hope you enjoy it :)**

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Chapter 1

I sat in class on a Friday afternoon, a usual bored expression on my face as Mr. Garrison droned on and on about some shit about geometry... Or was it geography? Whatever, it's not like I ever gave a crap about what that old queer had to say. Anyway, I happened to be very tired during that time. So I slowly closed my eyes, sighing contentedly and thankful that I sat in the very back of the classroom with Clyde's slightly chubby body blocking Garrison's line of vision to me. But after awhile, I realized I couldn't fall asleep with the combination of Herbert's lecture and the rather loud air conditioner in the far right corner next to the large poster of all our past presidents, with Obama crossed out in bright red ink because Mr. Garrison said he was, and I quote: "A dumbass nigga who couldn't even control a room full of screaming three year olds without fucking shit up."

Anyway, I opened my eyes back up. As Señor Faggot was discussing the countries of Africa, I stared blankly into Clyde's brunette locks, beginning to daydream. Fantasizing about fucking various girls with D-cups, an evil smirk appeared on my face.

"Kenny? Are you okay back there?"

I quickly snapped out of it, looking up to see Mr. Garrison staring at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Um... Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?" I chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of my head.

"Well, uh, you were smirking and licking your lips while staring at the back of Mr. Donovan's head. It almost looked like, well for lack of better words, you were fucking him with your eyes."

My cheeks went a crimson shade of red at those words as the entire class turned to look at me while they snickered. I bit my lip as Clyde turned to look at me, his cheeks also a dark color. I blinked, turning back to Garrison with a counter.

"Well hey, I was just practicing the look you used to give Mr. Slave before he dumped your sorry ass." The entire class widened their eyes and gasped. I shrugged like it was nothing, but from the look on my gay teacher's face, I could tell I was in deep shit.

Before I knew it, I was dragged down to Principal Victoria's office, for some reason, along with Clyde. Even though the comment by our teacher was made over ten minutes ago, the red blush was still present on his cheeks as we sat next to each other in the cold blue chairs outside the principal's small office. I stared over at the shiny lockers on the opposite wall, sighing. I wasn't aware of it, but Clyde kept sneaking looks at me. He would gape those brownish-green eyes at me for a second or two before turning back to his hands, picking at his raggedy, bitten fingernails.

After what seemed like forever, the blonde principal finally opened her door and ushered us inside with a stern look on her face.

"Fuck." I thought as I plopped down onto a wooden chair in front of her black desk. I had detention for sure.

Clyde sat next to me, twiddling his thumbs nervously like I've seen Butters do so many times before. Knowing I would fail, but deemed it worth a shot, I tried my Kenny charm on Principal Victoria to see if she would soften up a tad.

"Well hello there, pretty lady. Are those new glasses? They completely bring out your beautiful eyes." I flashed a dazzling smile, pointing a finger at her charmingly. Clyde rolled his eyes and stifled a giggle.

"Kenneth. I don't think this is the most appropriate time for that. Do you?" she glared slightly, folding her hands on top of her kitten-themed desk calendar. I knew it wouldn't work, so I shrugged and shook my head, hoping I wouldn't get in even more trouble than I already was. Suddenly Clyde spoke.

"Um... Are you giving us detentions? Because, um, my mom said if I get another one, I'll be grounded for two weeks." he bit his lip. I raised my eyebrow in slight surprise. That's the first time I heard him talk all day. He didn't even say anything to Craig, whom I knew he had a huge crush on, heck, everyone knew this. Clyde still thought it was a secret. Silly boy...

Principal Victoria cleared her throat, giving us a signal to shut up. So we did, and it stayed silent for about a minute and a half. Then she opened her mouth to speak.

"Well, incorrect. I wanted to give you a simple lunch detention and be done with it, but Mr. Garrison insisted on giving you a... different sort of punishment." I blinked a few times. What could that mean? I peered over at Clyde, who seemed somewhat happy that he didn't have a detention. She continued.

"He said he would like the both of you to write a 2,000 word essay on the positive aspects of homosexuals." I almost burst out laughing. I mean, really? Are you serious? I couldn't help but giggle silently, and I heard Clyde chuckle as well. I thought she was kidding for a second there. Either she has an excellent poker face, or she was serious.

"I'm completely serious about this boys." Well, there's my answer. I leaned back in my chair, shrugging slightly.

"Well alright. Sounds fair." I said confidently.

"Okay. Well, you both have to be responsible for your half of the composition. You both must write 1,000 words of it. No more, no less. It's due on Monday. Understand?" She raised an eyebrow questioning our comprehension. We both nodded.

"Yes ma'am." said Clyde. Oh Clyde, aren't you just a polite little bastard. I shook my head with a smile.

After a couple more minutes of useless chatter, we were shooed out of the blonde woman's office. By the time we both set foot in the hallway, the bell rang for the signal that we could go home. Heh, lucky us.

I gave Clyde a small wave, walking to my locker with my usual swagger. I grinned as girls turned to watch me walk down the hallway, just like every day. Yes, I was constantly chased by girls. Yes, I liked it very much. Yes, I've had sex with every chick in school, even Stan's girl Wendy (who was...surprisingly a freak in bed...) Anyway, despite all of this, I wasn't happy. Honestly, even though I was the most sought after boy in the whole town, my happiness meter has never really filled to the point of my content. Even though I had the opportunity to have all the love in the world from many teenage girls, something didn't seem to satisfy me about that. Like, none of them were right for me. I'm probably just very picky.. Then again, I'll fuck anything that breathes.

Anyway, as I reached my locker, I spun the combination on my lock: 14-23-8. The lock opened with a "pop". I swung the door open and looked inside my untidy storage space, shoving my textbooks into it because I had no homework besides that gay essay. Hey, it really was a "gay" essay... Heh. I made sure the books wouldn't fall out when I opened it back up, then shut the door, swinging my green and orange backpack over my shoulder. I turned around to head out the doors to get out of this torture chamber I was stopped in my tracks by a brunette.

"Hey Kenny..." Clyde nervously looked down at his sneakers. I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Hey dude... What's up?" I leaned against the wall as he continued to look at the ground, almost like he wanted avoid looking in my eyes like I was a fucking basilisk or something...

"Well, Uh... I have to go to my grandmother's house tomorrow, and I have football practice on Sunday... So today's the only free day I have to write the essay." he raised one of his calloused hands to his lips, biting down on an already rather short fingernail.

"Well, sure dude, I guess we could write it today..." I silently cursed, knowing I had to cancel my plans with Red later because of this. Clyde sort of smiled, nodding.

"Okay. Um, you can come over to my house for dinner later, and then we can write it... We're having tacos..." No surprise there.

"Sounds cool dude. What time?" I nodded slightly. He tilted his head up slightly, but not enough to look at me.

"Uh... We eat around 5:30... So can you come at 5:00 or 5:15?"

I nodded again. "Sure Clyde. Listen, I gotta get home, I'll see you later okay?" I flashed a charming McCormick smile as I walked away. He waved goodbye to me as I commuted toward the doors. I noticed something as I walked out, but thought nothing of it: He was blushing quite a crimson shade of red when I smiled at him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two is up! I'd really appreciate the reviews for what i've written so far. I also hope youre enjoying it as much as I did while writing it. :)**

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I trudged home, walking along the grey sidewalk just in time for Cartman to come speeding along in his brand new silver pickup truck, taunting me like he does everyday about my family being too poor to afford a car. Oh wait, he mixed it up this time: he chucked an empty Bud Light beer can at my face. To make it worse, some of the little droplets of the alcoholic beverage at the bottom of the metal cylinder dripped onto my face. Nice dude. Real nice. I shook my head in disgust as the fatass rolled away cackling his annoying laugh. I wiped the remnants of the beer that dripped on me away on my parka, then I dug my can of Axe body spray out of my backpack and immersed myself in the strong smelling stuff to cover up the beer stench just in case I ran into Officer Barbrady on the way home.

A few minutes later, I reached the South Park ghetto and spotted my run down, crappy house. I can't believe that we live in the old junker that Mr. Broflovski and my dad built as a clubhouse when they were kids. I guess thats the only thing we could really afford, given that both my parents are unemployed and spend all of our welfare money on Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer. Anyway, I dug my rusty house key out of my pocket and shoved it in the lock. I opened the door and immediately heard my parents screaming at each other like usual. I walked right past them toward my room, ignoring the various profanities they were yelling at each other.

Before I could open the cracked, dirty door, my little sister Karen came out of the room next to mine, the same scared look on her face from when she was six. I smiled a little. I loved her. I really did. Back when I was ten, I would play this superhero named Mysterion. At first I would just fool around with my friends, forming a superhero alliance called "Coon and Friends". Cartman was the Coon, but we kicked him to the curb for being a total dick. Anyway, I was Karen's "guardian angel", because whenever I rescued her or comforted her, I was playing Mysterion. She kinda figured it out when she turned seven, but she told me that no matter what, I'll always be her guardian angel. She's such a sweet girl, you have no idea. I pulled her into my arms, hugging her close.

"Hey Kare-Bear... How are you today?" she smiled a little bit, hugging back tightly.

"I'm doing alright Ken." She then detached herself from me, scampering back into her small bedroom, well, more of a closet with a bed, when my parents' yelling gradually got louder. I shook my head with a sigh, slipping into my room and shutting the door behind me, then was greeted by my favorite poster of a blonde girl in a tight red bikini.

I flopped down onto my dingy blue bed, checking my watch. It was about 4:15. Only about an hour until I have to go to Clyde's. Hmm... What can I do in an hour... I glanced over at the big pile of Playboy magazines by my closet. I could masturbate... After thinking for a moment, I shook my head. Karen was home, and I had the decency to never jerk it when my little sister was around. So I scooted myself up to my pillow, flopping my head on it and setting my watch alarm for 4:50. Then I shut my eyes, intending to have a short nap before I had to write an essay about gays with taco boy.

As I began to drift off into a dreamless slumber, for some reason, all I could think about was Clyde. I shrugged it off as nothing, and fell asleep. Soft snores escaped my lips as I subconsciously snuggled my other pillow.

After getting a good dose of shut-eye, I heard the faint "beep, beep" of my watch alarm. With a sigh, I slowly sat up and yawned. Rubbing my sleepy eyes, I stood up and wandered lazily over to my small closet. I opened the cracked, mirror-plated door and peered inside. I glanced around at the few clothes I had, not really feeling like wearing my parka. Throwing the orange jacket off and laying it on the floor, I tugged a black t-shirt with an abstract pattern off a hanger along with a pair of dark wash skinny jeans. I slid off my plain white t-shirt and took off my orange sweatpants. I sat on my bed, taking about five minutes to slide the skinny jeans onto myself. Then I threw the black shirt on over my chiseled chest and looked at myself in the cracked closet mirror.

"Wow... I actually don't look half bad..." I thought as I studied my profile. Wait, why do I care what I look like? All I'm doing is going to Clyde's house. I shrugged, finger combing my messy blonde locks for a few seconds. Then I grabbed my hand-me-down iPhone 3Gs and slid it in my tight pocket. I remember the day I had gotten that thing. Kyle had the iPhone previously until his 16th birthday, when he had received an iPhone 4 from his Aunt Sarah. Since Stan already had one, Kyle gave me the phone. I was practically jumping with joy. Wow, that sounded gay...

Anyway, I grabbed my backpack and stuffed my crappy, '98 Gateway laptop, a pack of 5 Gum Cobalt flavor, my black and orange pencil case into it, and slipped two Playboy's in there too in case I got extremely bored. I swung the backpack onto my shoulders and headed out of my room. As I walked out of my tiny bedroom, my parents we're having makeup sex on the couch like they always do after they have a loud fight. I walked right past them, ignoring their actions and they didn't even notice me. I shook my head in disgust as I pushed the front door open and walked outside just as I heard my mother's signature audible moan that signaled she had hit climax. Gross. As my body entered the outdoor area, I immediately regretted not bringing my warm parka with me, because it began to snow. Well, I suppose its a good thing Clyde's house isn't far. As I walked down the street, I stuck my tongue out and captured a fluffy flake on it, sliding it into my mouth.

"Mmm..." I smiled a little, enjoying the taste of the natural culinary delight. After walking for about ten minutes, I spot Clyde's house in the distance. I began to walk faster when all of a sudden Stan appeared. He was riding his blue and black bike across the street when he saw me. He waved and sped over to me with a big smile.

"Hey Kenny." he hit his brake and hauled his bicycle. I gave him a small grin.

"Hey Stan. What's up?" I threw my backpack on the ground because I got tired of carrying it. He shrugged at me, crawling off his bike.

"Not much dude, just heading over to Wendy's house." I could sense a slight bit of boredness in his voice. Stan never really loved Wendy all that much. I mean, he did back in 4th grade, but by the beginning of 7th grade, he began to have feelings for his Super Best Friend. He never broke up with Wendy though, he's been with her off and on since they were eight years old. He's never told Kyle how he felt before, and I doubt he ever will. Stan's confided things to me about his love for Kyle that I've never told anyone. Like, the time he had an intense, realistic wet dream about the two of them fucking like bunnies. I don't understand why he went into graphic detail when he told me about the dream, but I wasn't really complaining. Whatever he talked about that day was pretty hot.

"Um, that's cool dude. I'm going to Clyde's house." I gave a little shrug.

"Clyde? Since when were the two of you friends?" Obviously he doesn't remember what went on during class today.

"Uh, well we're working on a... project together and it's due Monday." I nodded.

"Why not do it on Sunday like you always do when we have weekend projects?" he cocked an eyebrow, leaning against the wall of the 7-Eleven we were right in front of.

"Today's the only day he's available to do it..." That reminds me, I gotta text Red and tell her that I can't make it.

"Ah, I see. Well, I gotta go dude, Wendy will get pissed if I'm late." He hopped back on his bike, adjusting his red poofball hat.

"Alright dude. See ya." I gave a wave and with that he pedaled away with a small smile. I picked up my backpack again and started to walk away, but then I noticed the 7-Eleven. I knew that I was gonna be eating in less than an hour, but I decided to go in anyway and get some snacks for when me and Clyde were working on the composition.

I swung the glass door open, and heard the "ding" of the little door alarm. The 20-year old, zit faced, black haired man behind the counter looked up at me for a second, then went back to his video game magazine, reading an article about the new Kingdom Hearts game for the 3DS. I headed over to an aisle with bags of chips. I browsed my choices and eventually settled on a big bag of classic Lays chips. I grabbed it off the shelf and exited the aisle. Then walked over to the Slurpee machine and grabbed two medium sized cups. I filled both of them with Coke flavored Slurpee and placed a plastic lid on each of the cups. After that, I grabbed two straws and headed for the register. Once I reached the counter, I put my chips and cups down, glancing at the array of candy in front of the gray countertop. Shrugging, I picked up two orange Reese Cup packages that each contained two peanut butter cups. I placed them on the counter next to the stuff as the guy finally looked up from his magazine to ring me up. He scanned each item slowly, as if he was half asleep. I shook my head with a sigh and checked my watch. It was 5:05.

When he finally concluded, I placed a crisp $10.00 bill on the counter, telling him to keep the change. I grabbed the two Slurpee cups and my bag of unhealthy food and walked out the door, the receipt in my mouth as I muttered a thank you to him through my clenched teeth. As soon as I stepped outside, I spit the piece of paper in the nearest metal trash can and began walking toward Clyde's house again. Within a few minutes, I was at his front door.


	3. Chapter 3

**Ugh, I'm sorry I haven't written anything in awhile guys. I've been pretty busy. But here's Chapter 3! ;D Hope you like it!**

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I knocked on Clyde's door with a tiny sigh. Let's get this over with. A few seconds later, his mother answered.

"Hello Kenny, we've been expecting you." she said, smiling brightly, showing off her Crest White-Strips enhanced teeth. "Come in!"

"Alright, thank you, Mrs. Donovan." I forced a charming smile as I walked past her into my brunette friend's house. Clyde was sitting on the couch, playing Skyrim. He looked up and saw me, smiling a bit as he waved.

"Hey Ken..." he paused his game and stood up, walking over to me.

"Hey." I smiled a bit, giving him a nod.

"Uh... We can go put your stuff in my room if you want." He bit his lip, looking as nervous as he did earlier.

"Okay, dude. Sounds cool." I smiled a bit, heading over to the stairs, him following close behind. I walked up the creeking, wooden stairs, being careful not to spill our Slurpees. As I reached the top of the stairs I glanced down the hallway, Clyde coming up behind me.

"Which way is your room?" Clyde pointed to a room to the left with a red door. I nodded and walked over to it, grabbing the doorknob and turning it, opening the door for both of us, Clyde walking in first. After I walked in behind him, I took in my surroundings. I had to keep myself from giggling as I looked around his small room. The first thing I noticed was a large solar system hanging from his ceiling. It looked fragile and expensive, and I couldn't help but smile. Below the solar system sat his twin sized bed. He still had the same space themed sheets and comforter he boasted about when we were nine. I stifled a giggle. I mean, I didn't think this was funny, nor did I wanna make fun of the brunette for some unknown reason. I sort of found it...cute, and charming. Glancing away from his bed, I saw more impressive, grown up things: a flat-screen TV, a Mac computer, a big stack of Playboys in the corner... Huh, we aren't so different after all. Well, mostly because of the Playboys, my parents would never be able to afford anything else in this room, not even the cheap blue rug in the middle of it.

"Sorry... I uh, was gonna get rid of these." was all he said as he plopped down onto his bed, trying to cover up his black comforter with little white stars and the planet Saturn right in the middle of it. I walked in afterward and set my backpack and 7-Eleven bag down on the blue rug, putting the Slurpees on his bedside table.

"Why dude?" I stood there, staring at him, wondering why he was so embarrassed. He just played with his raggedy fingernails, not saying a word.

Shrugging, I sat down next to him. He avoided my eyes, biting his lip. Thinking this was extremely awkward, I decided to start a little bit of small talk. I was very curious about him and Craig for some reason, so I thought I needed to get some answers out of him about the situation.

"So how are you and Craig doing?" When I said this, he blinked slowly, biting his lip.

"What do you mean?" he looked up at me slightly, his hazel eyes curious to find out what I meant.

"I mean like, are you two together?" I had some sort of disappointment in my voice, anticipating the answer, hoping he wouldn't say yes for some reason. He blushed a pink shade, looking back down at his sneakers, shaking his head.

"N-no... Why would we be?" he continued looking down, wrapping his arms around himself, as if he was hugging an invisible person.

"Well, because you like him..." I chuckled a little, poking him in the arm. He widened his eyes when I said this.

"W-what..? I-I Uh... N-no... I don't like him... W-who told you that?" he stammered, his blush darkening to a crimson color.

"Well... Uh everyone's already figured it out by now dude... And judging by your stammering, it's somewhat of a dead giveaway." I chuckled. Clyde just stared me down, the dark blush still present on his cheeks as he sighed and furrowed his eyebrows.

"I don't like Craig. I mean... I did, freshman year. But now I don't feel anything for him. I'm dead serious, Kenny." Clyde looked me straight in the eyes when he said this, and by the look on his face, I could tell he wasn't bullshitting me.

"Well... Alright dude." I gave a simple nod.

"Yeah... I mean, I do have my eye on someone though..." he blushed a little more if that was even remotely possible. Before I could respond, I heard his mother's sickly sweet voice calling us down to dinner. An eager smile crossed his face as he stood up, sniffing the air to get a whiff of the aroma of his favorite food. "We should go downstairs now, Ken."

"Sure..." I stood up from his space bed, gently brushing my hair against the solar system because of how tall I was. He gave me a nod and opened the door to his room once again, walking out. Now I was really curious... Who could he have a crush on? I could rule out all the girls in school because he came out to Tweek the last day of eighth grade. The spastic blonde spat out his coffee in shock, and proceeded to tell everyone. I was the last to know because I was absent the last day of school; I had the flu. It's not Craig, so, who the fuck is it? I had no idea why I wanted to know so badly. I was determined to find out later who he liked. Anyway, I walked out of his room behind him and walked down the narrow hallway. He scampered down the stairs in excitement and ran into the small dining room. God that little kid loved tacos... I followed close behind, watched him sit down in a chair, and I walked over and sat in the chair across from his. Then Clyde's mom walked out of the kitchen which was adjacent to the dining room with a plate full of tacos.

The look on Clyde's face was pure excitement. It was just so damn cute... The way his crooked smile exposed both his dimples, the way his beautiful eyes sparkled with happiness... Wait what? Why are these thoughts rushing through my head? Uh... Um... Distraction! I quickly looked down at my taco. I must say, it looked delicious...

"Kenny? What are you waiting for? Aren't you gonna eat?" Clyde looked at me, his first taco already halfway done.

"Uh... Nothing." I shrugged, picking up my taco and taking a mealy bite, grinning. Wow, this taco is seriously the best one I've ever had. Even better than Taco Bell's tacos; I honestly didn't think that was possible. I glanced over at the other teen, watching him munch on his Mexican treats. He just looked so damn...cute. I couldn't help but stare at him for some reason.

"So Kenny, how are your parents?" Clyde's mom's voice broke my train of thought. I snapped my head up, glancing at her face. She had the absolute fakest smile I've ever seen.

"Um... They're okay..." I gave a little shrug. Clyde snuck looks at me as I nibbled on my taco. I merely shrugged this off as the little brunette wanting to know if I was gonna eat my crispy taco, so he could have it for himself. After I had three tacos, and Clyde had...eight, we wiped our mouths and excused ourselves from the table. As I took my plate to the sink, the other boy walked up behind me, placing it next to mine in the basin. He turned to look at me and I noticed he had a small batch of crumbs from his Mexican treat by his upper lip.

"Hey, uh, you got something here." I raised my thumb to my lips, gliding my tongue over it before reaching over and gently wiping the crumbs off Clyde's mouth. He stared into my eyes, his cheeks a crimson red color.

"K-Ken..." he bit his lip in an absolutely adorable manner. I felt like I was being controlled by some unknown force as I raised my hand to his red cheek, gently cupping it. My blue eyes were heavy lidded as I began to lean toward him. The look on his face was indescribably timid and…cute. As my lips were inches away from his, a voice erupted from the nearby doorway.

"Clyde? Don't forget to fold your laundry. You forgot to do it last night, and your mother isn't very happy with you because of it. And neither am I." There stood his father, arms crossed. He had just gotten home from working a ten hour shift. My eyes shot open when I heard his dad's voice, pulling back immediately. Clyde however, was still standing there with his lips puckered and eyes closed, in somewhat of a daze. I reached over and gave him a little shake. He snapped out of it immediately and his cheeks were flushed even more than before. I rubbed the back of my head as Clyde nodded and smiled nervously at his father. After they talked for a few seconds, the brunette headed for the stairs. I figured he wanted to pretend that little moment didn't just happen. So I shrugged it off and followed him.

Once we entered his room after finishing dinner, he walked over to the little table where our Slurpees were sitting and picked his up, taking a long drink. Watching him, I plopped down on his bed, cracking my knuckles.

"Alright bro, let's get this over with." I said as I grabbed the bag of Lay's chips and tore it open, digging out a rather large potato crisp. I slid it into my mouth and chomped on it as he sat down beside me. He gave a small nod as I continued to sip at his Slurpee. When he swallowed the cola-flavored slush, he spoke.

"Yeah, we should. Um, so, it's on gays basically...Right?" he raised his eyebrow, placing his cup on the bedside table and twiddled his thumbs.

"Mmhm. Apparently, it's on the 'positive aspects of homosexuals'." I laughed after I imitated Principal Victoria's annoying voice. Clyde giggled as well, glancing at his Mac from across the room. He stood up from the bed and crossed the room over to it and plopped down in the comfy-looking green office chair. I toddled after him, dragging the yellow bag of salty snacks with me. I plopped down on the floor next to him, staring up at his white computer which was sitting on his wooden desk.

"Sooo... How exactly do we start?" I cocked my eyebrow, digging my hand into the bag and grabbing a potato chip.

"I'm not sure to be honest... " He gave a little shrug, closing the Word for Macintosh program and going on Facebook. Clyde was a procrastinator like me... Nice. He scrolled through his news feed, staring at the various people's accounts from our school. I sat up a bit, staring at the screen. I stared at the status at the top made by Bebe Stevens.

Bebe Marie Stevens: "Fuck... My birth control didn't work. I'm fucking knocked up."

16 people like this.

2 comments.

Huh, Bebe's pregnant. That's...not surprising, considering what a slut she is. I asked Clyde to click on the comment box, because I was curious. One was from some boy who lived in North Park that apparently was the father and is..well, now, /was/ her boyfriend.

Ricky Matthews: "Psh. Don't expect me to change any diapers. We're over."

And the other was from Butters.

Leopold Stotch: "Hey, uh, Bebe. If you want, I will stand beside you. I'll help you take care of your baby... :)"

Aww.. Butters. I swear. That kid is the sweetest thing ever. I used to have a thing for him before he announced that surprisingly he was straight. The only straight kid in South Park happened to be Butters. Weird, right? Anyway, I stared up at Clyde, who was reading all the people who liked Bebe's status. From what I could see, Wendy, DogPoo, Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kevin Stoley, Kevin (my brother), Red, Annie, Esther, Jimmy, Craig, Butters, Timmy, Ricky (that North Park kid), and Ike liked it.

*beep* Oh look, a new comment. I looked at the screen.

Timmy Burch: "TIMMY!"

Oh.

Anyway, I gave Clyde a little nudge.

"Heh.. Damn. That chick can't keep her legs closed eh?" I said, chuckling. He laughed a bit too, shaking his head.

"And to think I actually had a thing for her." he shook his head, logging out of Facebook and went back onto Word. He began to type a paragraph about the fact that homosexuals date back to the prehistoric times. I watched him, sitting on the floor, my head leaning against his leg. After a couple more paragraphs about how homosexuals are great, Clyde cracked his knuckles.

"Fuck bro... This is a pain in the ass." Heh, that comment was a tad ironic because of the subject for our paper. Anyway, he sighed deeply, checking the word count. It was only 500 words. We were only a quarter of a way done. Meanwhile, I had actually fallen asleep against his leg, snoring quietly. Staring down at me, Clyde's expression got a bit softer. After that, he cautiously reached down and began to ruffle my hair. I whimpered some in my sleep, nuzzling deeper into his denim-clad leg because my hair was my sensitive spot. As he ran his fingers over the sensitive area behind my right ear, I twitched a bit, letting out a soft moan. As soon as that happened, Clyde immediately retracted his hand and blushed darkly.

"Nhhh... Don't s-stop..." I clung to his leg like a lifeline, my lips kissing it tenderly. He widened his eyes, pulling his leg away from me abruptly, which woke me right up. I blinked some, rubbing my sleepy eyes.

"W-what the fuck happened..." I asked as I stared up at him. I began to giggle when I saw how red his face was. But then I immediately stopped laughing when I saw his facial expression.

He said absolutely nothing. He just stared down at me for a couple seconds before getting up from his chair and dashing out of the room toward the bathroom, slamming and locking the door behind him.

I blinked slowly, sitting up against the wooden desk, staring over at the door. The fuck's his problem...?


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey everyone! :) Sorry Ive been so inactive with my story :( I am more or less ashamed of this chapter because I was so lazy with it. xD I felt you guys deserved a chapter though, since youve been so patient with my writing 3 I cant believe you actually like this piece of crap! Anywaysss... heres chapter 4! More will be uploaded soon! And it will be better than this xD I promise!**

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Chapter 4

When Clyde left the room, I shook my head, sitting up from my position on the floor, leaning against the part of the desk I was closest to. Deciding to push knowing the reason of the brunette fleeing the room to the back of my mind, I began to glance around his bedroom without thinking too much about it.

The absence of Clyde allowed me to actually get a better, more detailed look of his bedroom. Y'know how when you go over to a new friend's house for the first time, and they take you into their room, and you have time to give the place an awkward once over before your friend can notice that you're checking out their living quarters like some chick with a sweet ass? Yeah. That's what went on earlier, but now that Clyde's gone for some unknown reason, I actually get to look at his room. Well, I'm not exactly sure why I would actually want to, but, whatever.

Anyway, I glanced around the room, surveying the walls and various items on lazily made shelves. A couple Marvel Comic characters were on his walls, and a few baseball, football, and hockey trophies were on his shelves. There was also a picture of Pamela Anderson on his ceiling. Huh. I thought Clyde was gay... Maybe he's bisexual like me.

My surveying gaze stopped on a gigantic_ Tron_ poster. _Tron_...? Clyde likes _Tron_...? Now, this reminded me of this awesome show, called _Chuck_. I'm not sure if you've ever heard of it, but it's basically about a person who works as a computer fixer dude in the "Nerd Herd", which is some clever parody of the "Geek Squad", named Chuck Bartowski. He accidentally implants this informational software in his brain known as the "Intersect", becomes a spy, and falls in love with this super-hot girl named Sarah, and they save the world a bunch of times with their cool spy skills, and whatnot plus there was this super cool guy named Casey, and a goofy guy named Morgan... Oh! And let's not forget Jeff and Lester, the basic comic relief characters who had a terrible band called JeffSter!... Anyway, Chuck had a giant poster just like Clyde's hanging in his apartment bedroom. It was a gift from his estranged father, who also loved the movie, cause well, how nerdier can you get with that particular movie? Heh, it just was...funny to me that Clyde would have that exact same poster. In fact…I was extremely tempted to take the poster down to see if there was any elaborate flowchart on the back like in the show... No, I'm not doing that. That's weird.

My glance then fell to a large toy chest near the window, complete with Red Racer and Spongebob Squarepants stickers covering the black and green surface of it. I almost laughed. Almost. But I stopped myself, just in case Clyde came back and asked me what I was laughing about. And that would be awkward. Anyway, I slowly stood up from my sitting position next to the large desk chair, and plopped right down in it. I figured while Clyde was gone, I should at least try to get a chunk of the essay done. I'm sure he would appreciate it.

I sat down at the computer, shaking my head as I stared at the white, simulated piece of paper on the screen, and the little, blinking line that determined where the letters and such would show up when I eventually begin to type. I literally was a blank slate , though. I couldn't think of anything to write. After about five minutes of staring at the screen, I sighed deeply, clicking Google Chrome to go on Facebook. I typed my email and password and logged in as myself:

Email: McCormickNTits810

Password: PikachuSquirtleLove78

I know, I'm sorry. I had a huge obsession with Pokemon when I made my account, and I'm honestly too lazy to change it. When I logged in, I had five notifications. One was a wall post from my big brother, Kevin.

Kevin McCormick: yo. lil bro. college iz fuking awesome. stop being a stranger and come visit, there's more tits here than the playboy mansion. :P

Three people liked it, which was another notification: Stan, Kyle, and Token. The other three notifications were game requests from Cartman. From FarmVille. How gayer could you get? I laughed some and returned to the wall post made by my bro. I clicked the comment box and typed my reply:

Kenneth McCormick: totally bro. so there haha. just give me until the end of next month and ill ditch skool. :)

I smiled to myself as I clicked the "Log Out" button, and exited out of the window. Sure enough, the word document was still there. With a deep sigh, I placed my fingers on the keyboard once more. After thinking quite hard, I began to type.

"Homosexuals have caused the world to be more fashionable. They're also like really nice and stuff."

Ugh. I know it's terrible. Stop rubbing it in. Sighing, I typed a bit more, not really putting much effort into what I was saying.

"Homosexuals are responsible for the world being a... happier place. No pun intended."

With a sigh, I rubbed my temples, a small headache forming. This went on for about twenty more minutes, more terrible sentences written onto the document. Figuring I had written a lot, I looked at the word count. I had only written about three hundred words. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I sighed once again, leaning my head against the white monitor. I blinked a few times before closing my deep blue eyes, quietly falling asleep for the second time tonight. This time, though, I had a very realistic dream.

The dream started out normally, I was walking down the street in the center of our small town. Y'know, where all the shops are, along with Tom's Rhinoplasty. Flipping my hair out of my eyes, the sun seemed to go down in a lightning speed manner. In other words, night came almost immediately despite the fact that it felt like noon a second ago. I glanced around again, and suddenly I was in the area of Stark's Pond, our old childhood hang out where I lost my virginity. To Rebecca (Red) Tucker. Y'know. Craig's cousin. Needless to say, when that asshole found out, I ended up going home that day with a black eye. It hurt. Anyway, as I looked around, I saw a pair of ice skates sitting in the snow by the north bank of the pond. Without thinking, I immediately shed myself of my dark green Converse and slid on the skates, lacing them up. My gaze fell to the other side of the pond, where another figure was already skating. I honestly couldn't really tell who it was, being that it was so dark now. I stood up shakily in the skates, and slid onto the ice, trying desperately to keep my balance. I waved my arms around, letting out quiet profanities when I almost tumbled to the cold surface of the small body of water. The figure had looked over my way and noticed me, beginning to skate over toward where I was. Blinking some, I squinted my eyes to try and see who this mysterious person was. I still couldn't tell, even when he was right in front of me. I guess this is because he had his hood up on his jacket like I used to do when I was younger. Anyway, he whispered in a hauntingly beautiful voice, I could tell it was a guy because his voice was deep enough and he had the body stature of a male. He asked me simply: "Would you like to dance...?"

As he questioned me, my blue eyes glazed over and my cheeks went pink. His voice... I swear... It was like angelic. Without even thinking about it, I nodded slowly, taking the other kid's hand as we began to skate along the ice in rhythm to the music that seemed to stream through the air. From what I could hear as I skated with the other male, it was Journey's old song: "Faithfully". What an amazing song... Anyway, the kid grabbed both my arms and wrapped them around his neck, his warm, strong hands resting on my waist. He made sure I wouldn't fall as we began to slowly sway side to side on the icy surface. I was completely enchanted by every action he had done. His voice was completely angelic... The way he danced with me across the ice was amazingly sweet... If I could just see his face... After a couple minutes, I slowly moved one of my hands down to his hood, beginning to push it down. He seemed alarmed as I did this, and he quickly grabbed my wrist to halt my action. With a sigh, I lowered my hand. Before I could say anything, though, he slowly leaned down toward me. I could see those beautiful pink lips... They were slightly chapped and were the shade of salmon. I closed my sky blue eyes as his lips hovered inches from mine. Whoa. I don't even know who this kid is. And he's trying to kiss me..? Mm... I don't think I should argue... But, seriously. I gotta find out who it is first... Just... After... I sighed in content as he pressed his lips to mine both deeply and softly. My heart fluttered as he immediately began to move his lips against mine, my hands found their way to his chest, them trembling from this intense feeling. After a couple minutes, he slowly glided his tongue over my lips, asking for entrance. Well, of course I gave it to him! When he slipped his warm, moist tongue into my awaiting mouth, I popped a boner. I mean seriously. I've never met a person who's kiss had this much effect on me. I moaned sensually as he dipped his skilled tongue in and out of my mouth. The stranger seemed to smirk into the kiss as I made my pleasured noises, and his hand slowly crept down to my nether regions. I didn't notice this at all...Cause well, this guy was such a good kisser. Mm... Oh fuck.. This felt so good... Mm.. Oh... Oh, wait, wait! Who-who was he? Damn, I had forgotten all about that when he pressed his amazing... Soft.. Beautiful.. Oh, sorry. Ahem. Lips to mine. My eyes slowly opened up, but I didn't stop kissing him, and uh... Moaning. Sorry, okay? If his kisses felt this good... Then I'd love to see what he could do to me in bed. Heh. Anyway, uh... Where was I? Oh yeah... I stared at his blue hood with my open eyes, and sighed contently as I pushed his hood down quickly. The stranger opened his eyes as well and pulled away from me almost violently. I jerked upwards at this action, completely dizzy from the make-out session that just went on. When my vision focused, I blinked in shock as I came face to face with a chubby boy with choppy, brown hair who had a tomato red face and a scared look in his eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

**HOLA :D Heavy apologies for this chapter. Its not that good, but I wanted to give you guys something new to read. Its been so long since I updated last, and I apologize for that. :( Anyway, Chapter 5! And thanks for your views and reviews, they mean a lot :)**

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Chapter 5:

With that, I jerked awake.

The sudden awakening startled me enough to fall out of the chair. Landing with a "thud" on the floor, I groaned, holding the arm I had landed on. Fuck, that's gonna be a nice bruise. I shook my head, before looking up. I came face to face with the dude I was just making out with in my dream.

"Kenny, the fuck is wrong with you? You look scared as hell. Did you have a nightmare?" Clyde said with a cock of his somewhat perfectly tweezed eyebrow. Rubbing my eyes, I sighed before standing up, my arm throbbing slightly from the pain.

"Uh... Sorta..." I stammered as I looked up at the slightly taller boy. The brunette shook his head with a small smile. Said smile faded and his cheeks went red as his gaze fell to my crotch, where my dick wasn't entirely soft. Fuck. Why did that dream have to be so sexy? I nonchalantly covered my crotch with my hand, trying not to look embarrassed.

"Dude, y'know... You could... Take care of that in the bathroom if you want." The brunette said as he aimed his thumb in the direction of the door. Before I could answer, the sound of the guitar riff from the song "Free Bird" arose from the area where my backpack was sitting. Oh, it was just my ringtone. However, it was loud enough to make the both of us jump a bit. Shaking my head to wake myself up a bit more, I scooted over to my backpack on my butt and unzipped the outside pocket as the ringtone continued. Clyde plopped down in his desk chair and watched me as I pulled my phone out. I looked at the screen and saw that it was Kyle who was calling me. Clicking the button on my iPhone that allowed me to accept the call, I answered with my usual "Sup?"

"Kenny! Dude! The craziest thing just happened!" Kyle sounded pretty excited. Raising my eyebrow, and standing up from the floor, I questioned the Jew.

"Huh? What do you mean, dude?" I said as I pointed to the hallway, silently signaling Clyde that I was gonna take the call in the bathroom. He nodded. And with that, I slipped out of his room into the bathroom across the hall and shut the door, locking it.

"Well, Stan went over to Wendy's house today, and she broke up with him again!" He practically shouted this with happiness. Rubbing my temples, and glancing around the bathroom, which was really cool, as a matter of fact, I sighed. Before I continue, I just want to point out that Clyde's bathroom is basically wall-to-wall superhero themed. Like, no, I'm not even kidding. The Flash was on his toothbrush, the water glass had the Superman logo on it, the shower curtain featured the Avengers, the mat on the floor was a comic-book styled pic of Batman and Robin, there was a large poster of Spider-Man next to the mirror, and so many more things that I can't even talk about right now because they were that cool. Anyway, back to the phone call, I shook my head at what Kyle had told me. By now, my boner went down. Thank God. That was humiliating.

"Dude, this has happened over a million times. Excite me or get off the phone, dude. I'm sorta busy at the moment." I felt bad for talking to Kyle that way, but seriously. I had work to do.

"Well, you didn't let me finish. Stan came over just now and he's a wreck. Like seriously. I've never seen him cry this much in a long time." He said, the volume of his voice lowering a bit.

"Okay, so, the hippie's crying... Is that all?" I rolled my eyes, sighing deeply. This is totally wasting my time.

"Don't call him that! Ugh. Well, while he was crying, I tried to comfort him by giving him a hug. Do you know what he did after I did that? Seriously, take a guess."

"Um... Punched you in the face and called you a Pussy Jew?"

"...no, this is Stan we're talking about. Not Cartman."

"Right. So, go on." I twiddled my thumbs as I sat down on the closed toilet, which had a cover with the Green Lantern logo on it. Jesus, I didn't know they made those.

Kyle took a deep breath and spoke. "He...kissed me." Silence followed. Holy shit. Stanny-Boy actually did it. He sealed the deal. Damn. About time.

"Oh... Fuck, man..." was all I said.

"Yeah... Kenny, it...it was magical.. I can't even describe it. My lips were tingling, my face was red, my heart was pounding at a million miles an hour.. God, I just... I've been waiting for that for over seven years." His voice sounded dreamy as fuck. Like he was stoned or something.

"Ky-Ky... You sound like a teenage girl. I shit you not." I bursted out laughing after I said that, and luckily, so did he.

"Haha... Yeah, I know. But, really Kenny, it was that good." Even through the phone, I could tell he was grinning.

"Well, that's good, man. Listen, I gotta go-"

"Wait! I didn't even tell you the best part!" He cut me off abruptly with an excited tone of voice once again.

"Make it quick." Was all I said.

"Well... To put it eloquently..." He paused. I wasn't sure it was for dramatic effect or to check if there was anyone else around. "Okay... I JUST HAD SEEEEEEXXXX... AND IT FEEEEELT SO GOOOOOD!" Kyle sang this extremely loudly right into my ear. After I stopped wincing from the high volume of Kyle's voice, my eyes practically popped out of my skull. Holy. Fucking. Shit.

"Wait, whoa, whoa... You and Stan...?" I said, my eyes not narrowing even a tad from their previous position.

"Yeah... Heh.. About an hour ago actually." He said, sounding a bit flustered.

"Dude, holy shit. How was he?" I crossed my legs while sitting, intending to get comfortable.

"He was fucking good, Kenny. I don't know how else to put it. I came like five times while he was in me. Holy, fuck, Ken. I just... Ugh. I mean, he makes me feel like I never wanna fuck another person again. It was that good." The hint of arousal in his voice kind of added to the effect of what he was telling me.

"Did y'all just fuck, or was there any foreplay... Or...?" Okay, I don't know why I was asking Kyle this, but for some reason I was interested.

"No, he sucked me off beforehand. Lemme tell you, he's better at it than Bebe is."

"No, way. She's amazing at them, though!"

"I know, that's the thing. Oh, did you hear she's pregnant, by the way?"

"Yeah, I saw. Jesus. I didn't know that chick was that much of a whore."

"Oh, I knew. And I know the guy that knocked her up. He used to go to my youth group at the Temple."

"Her ex is Jewish?"

"No, he was a troubled kid with nothing to do. He got kicked out of all the Christian church youth groups around town, so he got stuck in my Jewish one. He didn't talk to anyone."

"Oh, I see. So, anyway, um, at some point, when I'm not at Clyde's house, you need to give me details about you and Stanny." I chuckled after I said this.

"Aw, fuck, I'm sorry Ken. I didn't know you were over at Clyde's. I'll let you go then. See y-...wait. Why are you at Clyde's house?" I was about to hang up, and then Kyle asked me this.

"Oh, me and him have to write an essay as a supplement of a detention." I said this non-chalantly, uncrossing my legs and standing up. "But, anyway, I gotta go. See ya!" I hung up before he had anything else to say.

I exited the bathroom after I hung up the phone, and crossed the hall into Clyde's room. I opened the door without knocking, and I got hit by a strong smell and a face full of smoke, and suddenly came face to face with a brunette dancing in the middle of the room. "The Sound of Silence" by Simon & Garfunkel was playing from the stereo (WTF?), and Clyde was waving his arms around in the air like a total stoner (Bigger WTF?).

-sniff- I smell weed. Sure enough, in the corner of the room was a burned out spliff next to a bag of cannibis. Jeez, I never took Clyde for being a stoner. Anyway, I'm pretty sure the brunette had no idea that I was standing there watching him dance, or maybe he did and just didn't give a shit because he was blazed out of his mind. I quietly sat down on the desk chair and let Clyde have his little dance number.

Checking the computer, after waving a cloud of smoke away from the brightly lit screen, I saw that Clyde had finished his portion of the essay. Meanwhile, I had only about three hundred words. Dang. This sucks. I coughed heavily when some of the smoke got in my nose and mouth, and I closed my eyes. Before I could even think of what to begin writing, I felt two hands place themselves on my shoulders.

I jumped a bit and turned around to see Clyde with a goofy smile on his face.

"Oh, hey Clyde... Uh... You alright there?" I stood up from the chair, rubbing the back of my head as I stared into the red eyes of the other male in the room. The Simon & Garfunkel song was about halfway done. The brunette literally just stared into my eyes for what seemed like forever.

"Uh... Clyde...?" Was all I said, rather quietly. With that, he grabbed both my arms and slowly swung me around in a lazy, stoner dance movement. I just stood there as he swung me around, weirded out and confused.

"Come on... Man... You just gotta... Feel the music..." He finally spoke, sounding high as fuck. I refused to "feel the music", and continued to not really dance with him, darting my eyes from left to right, a couple of times catching a glimpse of the relaxed looking, Clyde.

After realizing that I had no choice, seeing how the brunette probably wouldn't stop for anything, I sighed, grabbing Clyde's arms as well and danced around in slow circles with him. I hated it at first, but then after a little while, I actually kind of liked it. Dancing with him was actually... Fun... Kind of like in the dream. Soon, the song began to come to a close. The soft voices of Simon & Garfunkel slowed down significantly and Clyde halted our dancing. I smiled just a bit when our dancing stopped, and my eyes bore into his. In the final notes of the song, we leaned forward at the same time and our lips pressed together.

(To be continued...)


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 is up! I appreciate all of your patience and reviews! I'm on summer break now, so I'll be able to write a lot more! Thanks for reading!**

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Chapter 6:

So, uh, Clyde's lips are soft as fucking... Uh... Things that are soft.

I'm sorry, but I couldn't even think at that moment. I was kissing Clyde fucking Donovan.

Jesus, it was...almost like in the dream. Except it's not cold out and shit. Well, I mean... Clyde's room is fairly chilly. His parents don't have much money, so the house's main thermostat stays always at 60 degrees. Clyde told me that awhile back at a party. Wait, why the fuck do I remember that? I was drunk as hell that night. Like, legit, I'm not even kidding. I was fucking hammered. I'm sorry, but Pabst Blue Ribbon beer is addicting. I don't care that I'm white trash, I'm usually in trouble, anyway. I do recall that Clyde was stoned that night, like worse than he is right now. That's probably why he decided to discuss the temperature of his house with me. I found it acutely interesting, that is until I threw up on Clyde's green Chucks. The kid didn't even bat an eye. He just giggled and poked me in the shoulder, remarking that I breathe out gross, liquidy, brown stuff, or something else like what 10 Guy would say. Y'know, that meme?

Anyway, Clyde soon pulled away, blinking his eyes tiredly, like I just woke him up on an airplane or something. He wiped his eyes with his fists, much like a five-year-old would, and whispered something I could barely understand.

"Come again?" I remarked.

"We-we should... Um..." He said to me back, followed by a cough.

"What? We should what?" I bit my lip, tasting something sweet, and something salty. Weird, I didn't eat anything sweet. I peered around the room, and saw the two Slurpees I had bought. Except both cups were empty on the floor. The bag of chips was nearby as well, also empty. Well, no wonder Clyde is so chubby.

"Uh... Y-you're um... See... Uh... I wanna... Extend an in-invitation... To the p-pants party..." He answered me, and then licked his lips, coughing once more before giving me a lopsided grin.

Wow. Clyde was stoned enough to quote Anchorman. I just shook my head, patting him on the shoulder before leaning in and kissing his lips again for a second and a half, and pulling away. I'm pretty sure Clyde is trying to get me to have sex with him. He must be one of those people who get horny when they have fun with Mary Jane. Well, I don't think that's a good idea. I once fucked a girl who was high, and she fell asleep when I was inside her, so never again. So, I swung my arm around his shoulders, and led him over to the bed. He needed to sleep this off. Heck, I needed to sleep this off. But I still had the rest of my portion to write on the essay. Wait, what was Clyde doing? I stared down at where his hand was. Oh, it's on my dick. Awkward.

"Fuck... When do I get to meet Kenny Jr.?" Clyde asked, not stammering this time, giving a light squeeze around the outline of my cock. I widened my eyes, blushing a dark shade of red, not taking my eyes off of his hand, which apparently had no respect for common personal space. Most people would swat his hand away immediately. So, uh, what was wrong with me? Oh, right. I'm a slut. Figures. So, I just shrugged it off and tried not to moan at the feeling of him squeezing my dick. I didn't even answer his question as we sat down on his bed.

Watching him, I sat back on my elbows as Clyde laid his head against my arm, tracing the outline of my slowly stiffening manhood through my too-tight jeans. I closed my eyes, letting out an almost inaudible moan as the brunette's fingers worked. All of a sudden, he stopped. I opened my eyes, just in time to see Clyde climbing down from his bed, and getting on the floor between my legs, unbuttoning my pants. Oh, okay. Well, I haven't been blown in forever. Why the fuck not? Shut up, I know I'm a whore. You don't have to tell me.

Okay, I know I said I don't do sex with blazed folk, but I didn't say anything about getting a BJ. That's actually happened before, funny story. I was at another party, a different one from when I puked on Clyde's shoes, and I was hanging out with Rebecca Tucker, Craig's cousin, all night. Most kids in class call her "Red", because he hair is red as Haley Williams' is, and it's completely natural. Anyway, we smoked a joint together, and long story short, she sucked my dick and got my come all over her face. I felt kinda bad, despite the fact that I was high, and I gave her my Led Zeppelin t-shirt that I wore at the time to clean herself up. I don't think she understood, and just tilted her head to the right in a confused manner, and put on the shirt, which was like a dress, considering how big it was on her. I haven't seen that shirt to this day. I asked for it back, but Red didn't know what I was talking about, apparently. I think she didn't wanna give it back because I heard a rumor about her that she secretly keeps something that belongs to every guy she hooks up with. I heard she kept several different things, from watches, to shirts, to pairs of underwear. It sucks, cause that shirt was vintage, and Led Zeppelin is one of my favorite bands.

Back to Clyde, he was jerking me off. The blazed kid had his chin against my waistline, which he was kissing, and his hand was moving up and down my seven-inch cock with practiced skill. I was running my fingers through his hair, affectionately, moaning quietly at the feeling. I glided my tongue over my lips, wincing with pleasure when Clyde ran his thumb over the head of my dick, collecting pre-cum that had formed there. Then, he stuck his thumb into his mouth, sucking it like a baby, while giving me a slutty look that seemed to say: "Please... Please let me taste you, Kenny."

All I could do was nod, and tighten the grip I had on his hair. He lowered his eyelids after removing his thumb from his mouth, and opened his mouth slowly, lowering his head so that he could slide my dick into his mouth. Before he could reach his destination, though, his phone vibrated from it's spot on his desk. He turned around, staring at the phone like he could telekinetically bring the phone to himself. After realizing he couldn't, he scooted over to the phone and picked it up. I could see that the caller ID said "Craigasaurus" with three smiley faces. Fucking Craig. He pressed "Answer" on his iPhone 4S, and put the phone up to his ear.

"Hello?" He muttered tiredly. I figured that I should probably put my dick away, so I did.

"Clyde, let's hang out tonight. I'll be at your place in ten." I heard Craig's monotone voice utter from the phone.

"Du-dude, I'm hanging out with K-Kenny..." Clyde replied after he coughed and sat down on his desk chair.

"Whatever, fatty. Kenny can come too. We're going to that new secret nightclub that opened up in Denver." Craig said, while sounding really distracted.

"Who's we? And what nightclub?" Clyde said with an eyebrow raised.

"Xenadulara. It's pretty fucking exclusive. Token heard from his cousin about it, and the admission is free. But the occupancy is pretty limited, so we'd better get going." Xenadulara? That's actually a pretty kickass name.

"Oh, alright... Sure. What do I wear?" Clyde asked as he walked over to his closet, opening the door.

"As long as you're not naked, just come as you are. Wait... You're not wearing that gay-ass Teen Titans shirt are you?" He wasn't, but he was wearing a Captain America shirt.

"I'm not, it's the Captain America one." Yeah, see?

"Oh, well, that's fine I guess. Just tell Kenny to get ready too. Tweek and Token are with me. I might pick up Kevin on the way too. Be there in ten. And lay off the pot. Peace."

Clyde lowered his phone after Craig hung up, and then he ran his fingers through his hair, coughing one more time before standing up from his chair, and walking slowly out of his room to the bathroom across the hall. Well, that was weird. One second, I'm about to get sucked off by Stoner Clyde, the next, I'm going to a nightclub with Craig's gang. It sucks. Cause for some reason, I was extremely looking forward to getting sucked off by Clyde. I don't...like the kid. Do I? Nah, I think that's just my skank side talking. Still...kissing him was...awesome... Whatever, I'm not gonna think about that now.

Well, if we're going to a nightclub, I'm glad I decided to wear what I was wearing. Y'know, the skinny jeans and the shirt with the abstract design? Cause honestly, I don't pick up many chicks wearing my old childhood tees. Y'know, the kind of shirts that you still have that you wore when you were in like sixth grade, and you only wear them on laundry days? The kind that Sid from Skins had to wear in that one episode when he went to the choir concert with Michele, and it had that one character called Mega Dog on it, and it made a noise every time you pressed Mega Dog's nose? Yeah, that kind. Anyway, I digress. Once again. I do that a lot.

Clyde came back into the room with his hair messy, and his eyes no longer red. I'm guessing that's why there were eye drops on the counter in the bathroom.  
When he returned, he seemed sober enough, so I stood up and shoved my hands in my pockets, biting my lip.

"Um, Clyde? Let's...just not talk about this for the rest of the night. Or our lives." I said as I rubbed the back of my neck, staring over at him.

"Oh, right, that... Uh, yeah... Good idea." He replied as he blushed extremely darkly, staring back at me.

"Um... Anyway, can you email me my portion of the paper? I can finish it later... Or tomorrow. And I'll email you when I'm done, since I don't have a printer?" I'm obviously not finishing the paper tonight, so I figured I could finish it on my crappy laptop tomorrow or something.

"Yeah, sure." He said as he grabbed his wallet, phone, and house key.

"Cool." I said as I grabbed my backpack and shook my shaggy blonde hair out. Clyde nodded and exited his room, and I followed, extremely thankful that my boner had gone down. That would be an awkward subject if we go downstairs and accidentally run into his mom. When we got downstairs, his mom was sitting on the couch, watching a rerun of Bewitched. That old TV show that only old people watch.

"Mom, Craig wants me to go to his house to study. I'll be back in a few hours, okay?" Clyde said, near the front door.

"Of course, honey, are you taking Kenny home?" She replied, looking away from the TV over at us with that same fake smile from before that really pisses me off.

"Nah, Craig invited him to come with us." He said.

"Okay, well, have fun you two!" She said before turning her attention to Samantha and Darren.

"Cool, thanks mom." And then he opened the door and walked out after grabbing his favorite red coat. I followed and Craig's 2002 Chevrolet mini-van was sitting there in front of the house.

"C'mon, Tubby! The club is filling up fast!" Craig remarked, and he flipped us both off afterward.

"Yeah, whatever, asshole." Clyde replied before tugging me along with him and opening up the car door, where we were greeted by Tweek, Token, and Kevin.

"Hey, guys." Token said from the front seat.

"GAH. Ngh... Hey, Clyde. Kenny." Tweek remarked.

"Clyyyyyde. My man." Kevin said before fist-bumping Clyde, and then he gave me a greeting nod and a smile.

"Get in the fucking car, or I'll leave you both here." Craig said with a scowl.

"Ugh, fine." Clyde said before he climbed into the backseat, and I followed, sitting in the adjacent seat to him. Once the car door was closed, Craig sped off into the night, toward Denver. This night is insane. I never would've expected any of this to happen, and it was just the beginning.


	7. Just an Announcement from the Author :)

**Just an Announcemeeeeent: **

**Well, um, in all honesty, I thought my story was just gonna basically be about Clyde and Kenny getting together while writing an essay. But then a spark of inspiration hit me the other day, and the story is gonna be a lot more complicated and long. :) Several more events will take place that I have ideas for, which means more for you guys to read. :D In other words, the story isn't ending after the nightclub, and there will be many sudden turns of events. Just so you guys know. :) I figured I would try to keep the story interesting for everyone, instead of a stereotypical love story. :) And Craig's gang will have a bigger role in the story, as well as Stan and Kyle. The inspiration that hit me was probably because I've been watching South Park a little too much lately. Haha. Anyway, I hope you guys are enjoying it so far, and I'll be sure to get more chapters out to you guys! :) I actually have time now that I'm on summer break :) Thanks again for reading and reviewing! :) You guys rock! :D 33**

**- A messaaaage from Connito (Amaranth. I decided to change my name. XD) :) **


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